One of my colleagues at Automattic, Justin Shreve, is running a blogging challenge for the month of April. We are to post every day! This blog has been sorely lacking in the posts department, so I figured joining the challenge would help me get posting again, like I had intended to when I started this blog earlier this year.
I’m also using a colorful new theme called Sorbet, which was designed by my talented colleague and fellow Theme Wrangler, Caroline Moore.
My main reason for lack of writing has been due to emotional ups and downs. I’ve had my fair share of them this year so far. I don’t really know what it is. Depression is not always logical. I see it as an illness, much like the common cold or the flu. However I am doing much better. Daily writing in my journals is so therapeutic. I’ve also started dragon boating again, and that did wonders to improve my mood. Getting out of the apartment more is the key to feeling better in general. Seeing my family that lives in the area is also nice, but since we don’t live all close by, it’s hard to see them on a daily basis. As an introvert who lives alone with a cat, and who also deals with social anxiety, it’s very easy for me to become isolated. When I am isolated, I’m alone with my thoughts, and my thoughts are not always the best company. I have a tendency to be quite hard on myself. Every flaw, every mistake, every imperfection — that inner voice shows no mercy.
The most important thing now is that I am consciously aware of it. It’s not easy, but I make a conscious effort now to be aware of what this voice is saying, and to take a pause for a moment whenever it makes an appearance. Writing positive thoughts every night before bed is empowering. Talking to my therapist and doing drama therapy exercises once a week has been a great. Getting out and doing activities is a great way to focus on others and less on myself. Plus, I’ve gained some new insights on my spiritual path that I will surely share in later posts this month.
I’ve wondered if this post is too much information. Should I share all of this personal stuff out there? I thought about it and the answer is yes. Why is there such a stigma about sharing conditions that involve the brain? The brain is an organ just like any other in the body, and it can become “sick” too. If I were sick with anything else, I’d surely blog about it. So yes, I will blog about depression and me coming to terms with it. That’s not all I plan to blog about this month though, but if I stumble upon any insights or want to explore something related to it, I’ll do so.
So there you have it. My first entry in the blogging challenge!